It has been a journey full of ups and down. It has been a journey of happiness and sadness, of laughter and tears. It has been a journey full of health and sickness… but through it all, one thing remain constant and that is our love.
This song reminds me of our love. Groovy and cool on so many levels.
Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.
PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!
Two months before our wedding, my then future father-in-law decided to bring the whole family (me included) for a vacation in Langkawi. Basically it was sort of a destressing session before we all get stressed from the wedding preparation in March. Since it was my first time visiting Langkawi and I had recently resigned from my work back home, I decided it was a good idea to relax before the preparation hit us.
Langkawi has beautiful beaches and one look you might even think you are on some maldives holidays instead of Malaysia and we didn’t waste any time checking out the beaches and even going jet skiing. We also went island hoping. My father in-law chartered a little boat that will fit 9 of us and set sail to visit the surrounding smaller islands namely Pulau Singa, Pulau Dayang Bunting and Pantai Cinta Kasih. As you can from the smiles on our faces, it was a fantastic day!
And Off We Go!
Me and the then Mr Fiance
Pulau Dayang Bunting: Check out the water behind me.. Awesome!
Pantai Cinta Kasih: Abah and Mama
Azwaj feeding the deer on one of the island. Animals love him
Cheerio…
I met Azwaj’s parents six months after our first date and it wasn’t just a one or even a two hour meet and greet session but it was for a weekend of all inclusive holidays trip to Lumut, Ipoh. .. lol.. talk about scary right? I mean I only knew the chap for six months and all of sudden he invited me to go on a holiday with his whole family and the scarier part was that I accepted..hahah..
Anyway I thought if this relationship was going to go somewhere, anywhere, I might as know his background as soon as possible and what better way to get to know him and his family better than spending time with them. Lucky for me, my future in-laws were an awesome lot and we got along fabulously. The place was great and I even got a glimpse of my first “ghost”.. haha.
This was taken before the era of smart phone and digital camera so all these were in the form of print. I managed to dig out some of them but since I was too lazy to scan them, I just used my camera and snap pictures of the photos hence that blob of white light from the flash.
This chalet area, up on the hill, no longer exist so I was glad we got a nice picture of it
Me with then future mother-in-law -This was taken on Pulau Sembilan, an island one hour away from Lumut. Rest in peace Mama.
From this window at the chalet, I saw a “ghost” on the shoreline walking into the sea
Cheerio…
11 years ago, this time me and my soulmate were married. That seems such a huge number but it seems like only yesterday I remember meeting him for the very first time. In fact when Emila was driving up the JW Marriott hotel driveway, for the perfume launch the other day, I was again momentarily transported to that day that I saw Azwaj in his car waiting for me. Ahh.. memories..
Dearest Azwaj…
Our marriage went through the usual ups and downs as all other marriages do but through it all.. love held strong and here we are all.. celebrating our 11th year as man and wife.. I will love you forever and may Allah bless this union till death do us part..Ameen
Cheerio…
Anyway, this incident happened a while back, in our very first apartment. We were just married and I wanted to change the look of our bedroom. You know, I wanted a fresh new look. So we decided to change the position of the bed which literally means moving everything as well.
So there Azwaj was, measuring corners making sure we had all the space we need to move the furnitures around, and there I was yaking away, giving suggestions, changing my mind, giving more suggestions when Azwaj just landed on the bed on said:
I was like “Huh?”.. got on the bed, and started muffling him with the pillow! 
Moral of the story? Let the man do all the heavy lifting and you go and make coffee for him when he’s done….lolz!!!
Hey, you know what, during the shifting around, Azwaj even found the gold chain that I had misplaced before. Yipee!!
Cheerio…
Your essence, your being,
Just takes me away…
Back to a time way back.Back when charming princes
In shining armor, on white horses,
Flourished, their swords,
Making the princesses swoon.You do that to me,
Make me laugh, and fret,
And swoon, on occasion.But without a sword,
Or a great white horse,
Or armor,
You are still a prince.And my prince,
Whom I’d swoon over,
Any day.
– Araz Havan –
Azwaj can’t stand it when I leave him for too long to go back to Singapore, even if it is to visit my mom. Sometimes I have to “bargain” just so I get a longer stay. However, I must admit I like that fact that he would miss me so much that even one week seems like a long time for him.
There are, however, a few of his friends that actually think that he enjoys the time when I do go back to SG. They would comment things like “oh so good, bachelor again. can enjoy!”.. you know silly remarks like that. And I know for a fact that these are the same batch of guys who really enjoy it when their wives “balik kampong” or go back to their hometown. It’s like they are now free to do what they want and when they want it.
I just don’t understand it. To me, it’s kinda sad that you actually prefer to NOT be with your spouse. That you actually prefer to spend time with your friends than your family. I mean I understand that we need alone time to do the stuff that you like and enjoy but to actually look forward for your spouse to leave for somewhere? That’s just sad!
Azwaj says it probably because their wives are so controlling and demanding and would call all the time when they are not at home and so when his friends are left wife-less for a period of time, they actually enjoy the peace of mind.
To each it’s own, I always say.. so be it 🙂
Cheerio…
Every time me and Azwaj recall this particular incident we always end up laughing so hard and Azwaj always ended up saying how lucky he was I was sooo in love in him that I had forgiven him even before he knew he screwed up big time…
Anyway continuing the countdown to our 8th anniversary this 25th March, this incident topped our “he say she say” scenario…
This incident happened during our first few date session. We were chatting over dinner on his couch and I was telling him how he “fills” this void I had in my life, when all of a sudden he said, “I don’t want to “feel” your void”. I was so stunned then, I actually, till now, can’t remember how that conversation ended. The rest of his words were just “blah, blah, blah” to me and all I can think of was, “what is wrong with this fellow?”.
However, at that time I was sooo in love that I overlooked the incident and somehow what happened after that day was not in sync with what he had said that night.
But you know what.. although I forgive I never really forget. Then one day after we were married, I asked him about that night. Azwaj’s memory, as usual, will always be fuzzy over details things like that but surprisingly he remembered that night.
I asked him what he meant when he said he did not want to “fill” my void. He explained that, he did not want to “feel” my void because he had enough void in his heart to “feel” himself. He said he was already drowning in “void” so he did not need another void to “feel”. I was like “what??” until I realized that what he meant was actually “feel” not “fill”… and Azwaj’s explanation to that screw-up was that as a musician they “feel” a lot of stuff like music, rhythm but not so much “filling” stuff…
hehehe..not Azwaj eh....
So, you have it…and that’s why they say “when you speak speak CLEARLY”… “cakap biar terang eh”….lolzz
Cheerio…
Back in 2004, my ex-boss offered me a contract position as his assistant in Singapore. It was for about two years. The hours were flexible and he, understanding that my hubby is Malaysian and that I would want to return every weekend, even offered that I could leave early on Fridays to go back to KL. Azwaj and me considered the position and it was too good to pass up. We have no kids so that was not a problem at all. After discussing and weighing the pros and the cons, we decided that we will give it a try for a year. After all there was sms, voicechat and even videochat nowadays.So I started work on 15 March 2004, a few days after my birthday. It was fun going back to work. I’ve always enjoyed working and to be able to work again with my ex-boss was terrific. Mommy was also thrilled to have me back in Singapore. So my routine was set. I would work Mondays to Fridays and I would leave early on Friday to catch the coach back to KL and then leave late Sunday back to SG for work the next morning.
Then on this day today in 2005, Azwaj presented me with this song. It seemed all those weekdays night alone had given him time to write another song for me. He gave it to me in the form of a CD. It was beautiful and touching and set a new path for us after that.
Here it is…it’s called Queen of My Heart 🙂
When I gaze into your eyes
Makes me realize
How I miss you baby
Makes me lose my mindThough we are a part
But always close at heart
Trust in me baby
Your smile grace my heartBridge/
I need your love everyday and every time
Til my breath runs out of time
Wanna hold you want you in my soul
Wanna kiss you without control.. mmmC/o
Oh baby I’ll gladly let you know
You’re my sun and you’re my world
When you go and leave me all alone
My heart bleeds out without control
I believe and trust you with my soul
Take my life and take it all
Words ain’t enuff, you rule my heart and my soulAll I ever do
Is only think of you
The moment that I saw you
I know I’ll always doA smile that won my heart
To forget is very hard
Carved your name baby
Deep within my heartBridge/
I need your love everyday and every time
Til my breath runs out of time
Wanna hold you want you in my soul
Wanna kiss you without control.. mmmC/o
Oh baby I’ll gladly let you know
You’re my sun and you’re my world
When you go and leave me all alone
My heart bleeds out without control
I believe and trust you with my soul
Take my life and take it all
Words ain’t enuff, you are the queen of my heartSongs ain’’t enuff, for the queen of my heart…
***lyrics copyright of ladyjava.org
I cried and I cried after that we decided that one year was enough for both of us to be apart. Being husband and wife means being together all the time. I don’t know how other couple did it but it was simply not us.. I returned to Singapore to tender my resignation. My boss was not too happy about it but he understood.So there you have it. The King has his Queen once again and they rule their kingdom together once again and live happily ever after.
Cheerio…
Continuing the anniversary countdown….
Unfortunately I’m not as artistic or creative as Azwaj to write him a song but I found this poem by Susan Leilani and I feel that it really describe the way I feel when Azwaj came into my life.. So this one is for you, my Love…
And Out of My Dreams Came You!
by Susan LeilaniDeep in the silence, one nightfall
When the moon sat still, shone bright,
Came the utterance of one single moonbeam
At my window… tapping, ever so light;And in the flicker of one swift instant
I felt its warming embrace;
It encompassed me and then I trembled
As before me appeared your sweet face.Then the radiance of that gentle smile,
The love shining soft in your eyes,
Began to penetrate with the moonlight
Straight through me, to deafen my cries.Now, no longer am I ever lonely.
With each nightfall there’s you and love’s true:
In the darkness I seek out my moonbeam
And out of my dreaming… comes you!
Cheerio…
Me and Azwaj knew each other from a chat room. The Malaysian room to be exact. That room was always so active. Lots of activities, lots of chatters. So when I first joined the room, I had my own cliques, while he had his own. We would exchange greetings and that would be it.
But what fascinated me to him was that he would always “sing” in the room. What I mean is, he would type the lyrics to songs that were “in” at the time. One song that was a big hit that time was “I don’t want to miss at thing” by Aerosmith (that eventually became our song btw..)
Anyway..one day he “PM” me and we started to chat…and chat…and chat.. and after some time we eventually started calling each other.
Then one day he told me he wrote me a song. Can you imagine my excitement? He said he would call me later that night to sing it to me… I was on cloud nine the whole day.
Here’s the lyrics to the song…. just a quick note though…my id was t@ti@n@ (just love the name, don’t know why) then and the song was in Malay..ok…hehehe
Tercipta suatu lagenda (So started a story)
Antara aku dan si dia (about me and her)
Tak pernah ku temui (someone I’ve not met)
Tak pernah ku kenali (someone I’ve not known)Namun hatiku selalu bertanya (But my heart keep asking)
Siapakah gerangan si dia (who is she?)
Mencuri hatiku dalam bicara (the one who stole my heart with her words)
Mungkinkan mimpi ataupun nyata (is this truth of fantasy?)Adakan aku bersandiwara (am I fantasizing?)
Mencari mimpi yg tiada nyata (searching for a dream?)
Mencari mu ohhh.. t@ti@n@ (searching for you.. t@ti@n@)Sampaikan salam ku ini (send my regards to her)
Bukakan lah pintu hati (open up her heart)
Oohhh t@ti@n@…. (oh.. t@ti@n@)
Now you tell me… What woman would not swoon after hearing that?? I literally had tears in my eyes as I was listening to him singing and strumming his guitar all the way from KL via phone.
It was a feeling that I’ve never felt before and I knew… I had fallen in love and this was to be my destiny….
Cheerio…
I decided today to just sit and reflect back on my life these seven years.
The reason why I’m doing this is because our wedding anniversary is coming soon. It’s going to be eight years on March, 25th! Eight wonderful years! It has it’s ups and downs of course. I’d be in self-denial if I did not admit that. However, on the whole, the sweetness outweigh any bitterness that exist.
Wow, seven years ago, I married this wonderful man that I’ve only known for one and half years. It was such a whirlwind romance because of our distance. Me, a born and bred Singaporean and he a full pledged Bumiputera Malaysian. We got to know one another from, you guessed it, cyber world.
I remember I was a late bloomer in the chatting world. I only started chatting at the age of twenty nine and that also because I was crazy over the boyband “Boyzone“. They were having this chat session and boy did I want to be there to chat with Ronan Keating. Anyway that’s a different story although but that the start of my chatting adventure. I was introduced to Yahoo and it pager and from then on, I was hooked. I found this Malaysian room that was really buzzing with action and I was chatting every opportunity I got.
And there he was and there I were. We started chatting and the next thing we knew, we met, we fell in love and the rest, like they say, is history.
Hmm… I guess that’s a lot in seven years. Who knows what else I’ll change in the future when perhaps there’s three or four of us in the picture… By then, I’ll look back at this entry and smile and add more things I’m sure 😉
Cheerio…
